DITTIES – HUMOROUS (MISC)

I have set up this page to share with you a few of the humorous ditties I have penned (some specifically for Twitter).

Tweeting under Grammar is fun!@AnnaNolan19

 

Dinosaur

Cannot stress this one enough:

Hashtags, websites, blogs and stuff

Flummox me – can take no more!

Aren’t I a dinosaur?

 

Natter

I must say I like to natter

About things that hardly matter;

But I care not one iota:

20K’s* my daily quota.

*words

 

Internet addict

Always thought it was pure fiction

Catching internet addiction;

Now, I see this very clearly:

Am afflicted MOST severely!

 

A pig in a poke

There once was this surly big bloke

Who purchased a pig in a poke,

It was a bad deal:

The pig wouldn’t squeal;

He wasted much dough at a stroke.

 

Bobby

There once was this great bloke called Bobby,

Who used to read Greek for a hobby,

From Latin he’d quote,

Knew French words of note,

And yet he was not at all snobby.

 

Mark Tilbury

You’d like my cyber friend Mark,

Whose writing has polish and spark;

What’s more, he is cool,

He’s nobody’s fool;

To sum up, his endowments are stark.

 

MP*

There was this MP – jeez, I quiver –

Who’d sell you and me down the river;

He’d scheme and he’d plot,

He’d give all he got

In trying his ploy to deliver.

*Member of Parliament

 

Muse

We’ve just had a bust-up, see,

My militant muse and me

‘Cos she wants – you won’t believe –

That I grant her yearly leave!

What a cheek! But it’s no use

Having bust-ups with my muse,

If you read me, you’ll be clear

She is hardly ever here!

 

Absent muse

Blow me down: is this the time

For another silly rhyme?

I’ve been sweating since the dawn:

Muse is at the Doe and Fawn!

 

Blog

Goodness gracious, what a slog

To be writing weekly blog;

That, however, is my game:

Glorious English that’s aflame.

 

Twitter – 1

Since I do prefer to witter,

I am quite constrained by Twitter;

Yet, across seas, fields and cities,

It’s receptive to my ditties.

 

Twitter – 2

I can’t help but fret and fidget:

Do I really need a Widget?

Twitter Widgets make me shout:

What the … tweet is that about?

 

Twitter – 3

If one were to persevere

In this wondrous Twitter-sphere,

What surprises would there be?

One, I guess, must wait and see.

 

Twitter – 4

It’s amazing whom one meets

In this wondrous world of tweets:

So much talent, insight, wit;

Feel so small – but WILL NOT quit!

 

Woodpeckers

During a delightful stroll

Up a lovely little knoll,

Heard woodpeckers – what a thrill,

Though they sounded like a drill!

 

Hedgehog

Little hedgehog, full of spikes,

When you touch him, you’ll go “yikes!”.

He will outmanoeuvre all

When he forms a little ball.

 

Fickleness

Women fickle? Is that so?

‘Fraid it’s a resounding NO;

What is fickle, every day,

Is the weather marked UK!

 

Happiness

I ADORE the glorious Lakes,

Climb our mountains, eat cream cakes,

Write on English, think and tweet,

AND you read me: life is sweet!

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2 thoughts on “DITTIES – HUMOROUS (MISC)

    • What a lovely idea, Ankur; I will try (if I can; please bear in mind that my talent – if I have talent, that is – is quite limited). My current priority, though, is completing two books, but I’m already way behind schedule. Your suggestion is greatly appreciated!

      Like

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