Some of you might have heard about a recent by-election in my parliamentary constituency, Copeland. Propelled by the sense of civic responsibility, I duly attended a local hustings, at which our independent candidate revealed his impeccable Europhobic credentials with the rhetorical question “A million Poles enough for you?” No sooner had I regained composure than I was assaulted with his campaign leaflet, in which the wannabe MP regaled us with the following pronouncement:
The Green Party are being venimently [sic] against nuclear energy.
Are they really? In an obvious attempt to be even-handed, the leaflet proceeded to castigate other political parties:
The farming community has been hit by this present governments [sic] stopping of subsidies.
Predictably, the Labour Party, currently presided over by Jeremy Corbyn, did not escape unscathed either.
The same can be said of Labour supporters who vote for Jeremy Corbyns [sic] Labour Party.
In an attempt to hit us hard with his anti-global-warming message, the campaigner chided us thus:
How many times does Keswick have to flood before the resident’s [sic] get the message. [sic]
The environmental theme needed to be reinforced, so the leaflet contained the following imploration:
We all need to change our behaviour now to slow down global warming to ensure our ancestors [sic] have a planet to inhabit.
But of course! It also appeared as if our independent candidate felt that a wee threat could go a long way.
To the people who disagree with me, I have bad news for you, but you will dislike global warming and increased sea levels even less [sic]!
Will we really? And the campaigner had other gripes:
Recent cost cutting decisions such as the demolition of the public toilets in Whitehaven is [sic] disgraceful.
But, hearteningly, the leaflet wasn’t all negative:
Land based wind turbines can produce energy much cheaper and more accessible [sic] than their off-shore counterparts.
The publication finished on an uncharacteristically literate, if a tad contradictory, note:
We have the 27th best education system in the world and every year it seems to get worse. The state education system has failed to produce results, so a drastic rethink is required to improve results.
It was rather hard to resist the conclusion that the leaflet had been produced by the very embodiment of this failure.
Flaming English by Anna Nolan 
Yes, indeed, the education system has failed to produce results. Thanks Anna, once again, for a good laugh 😀
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Thank you for so much popping by, Jennie; I hope you are well. I’ve been so wrapped up in my writing that I have neglected my blog, but at least my new grammar textbook (for 11-16-year-olds) is now out. Hope to be able to start working on a grammar for college and university students soon. Best wishes
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Hi Anna,
Yes, I’ve been super busy too and my blog is the last thing I look at. Congratulations on the book!
I shared your post on the Facebook page of the college I work for – hope you don’t mind. The proofreading students love it, so I will share more. You can see it here:
Do take care
Jennie
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Thank you so much, Jennie. I am actually extremely grateful that you decided to share the post and delighted that your students enjoyed it. I hope that you’ve been satisfyingly busy doing what you enjoy – that’s the type of busyness I don’t mind at all.
Very best wishes,
Anna
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Good morning Anna,
With this news being local to me (next door constituency,) I read your observations with interest and agree that not only did the producers of this leaflet fail to make full use of the education system, they also failed miserably to treat potential voters with any respect. As always though, your writing did make me smile.
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Millions of thanks for your comments and support, Mark. Yep, I have to admit that listening to this individual and reading his ignorant bumf made me shiver. Let’s hope that the younger generation takes a bit of notice of my grammar – and those of other linguists – though this will take time, of course. Again, I wish you every success with your own books.
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Venimently? I actually looked it up. And, if it is any consolation Anna, if someone searches for “venimently” on Google, your blog will be right up there in third place.
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I’m delighted! The perpetrator of ‘venimently’, who had hoped to become our Member of Parliament (!!!), was, clearly, illiterate. Not a typical product of the British education system, I hope …
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