Daily Frolic 19: The unfathomable meets the bizarre

“This Sunday Times …”

“Yes?”

“It’s very educational; particularly the Money section.”

“Absolutely; what have you found?”

“This week, they have some interesting stuff about your state pension.”

“Oh yes?”

“Apparently, it’s not necessarily paid from the actual day when you become eligible.”

“It isn’t? I haven’t claimed mine yet, but I thought that, if I qualify on a Tuesday, I’ll get paid from that very Tuesday.”

“A-a-a-a, but that’s just it!”

“What, what? Go on.”

“You may not.”

“I may not? Why?”

“Because, apparently, you have this system here.”

“What system?”

“I mean this Department for Work and Pensions that you have …”

“Yes, yes, but what are they doing?”

“They have this procedure …”

“WHAT PROCEDURE???”

“Wait a minute, wait a minute, that’s what they’ve written here, look: ‘the start date is based on the first allocated Monday to Friday payday corresponding to the last two digits of their [the pensioner’s] NI number’ – what is NI?”

“National Insurance.”

“So if you qualify after Monday, you will probably have to wait.”

“Actually, I do qualify on a Tuesday.”

“I s-e-e-e, so you may … you may have to wait six days before your pension kicks in.”

“Six days – but I’d be losing more than £100; you must be joking!”

“Not according to this article. Apparently, such ‘lost days’ save your government about £30m a year – sneaky, isn’t it?”

“Right now, I can think of a few more appropriate adjectives.”

“A-a-a-a, but it’s not that bad.”

“It isn’t?”

“No, no, it all comes good in the end.”

“Thank heaven for that! How?”

“I wouldn’t want to get it wrong; let me read it for you.”

 “The DWP insists pensioners are not left out of pocket as the ‘lost days’ at the beginning of a pension are evened out at the end of it – that is, after you have died you receive the payment for any additional days missed at the beginning.”

 “So you see, you won’t be left out of pocket after all.”

They are saying I’ll actually RECEIVE my £100 AFTER I have died?”

“Well, better late than never.”

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