NOTE: I’m posting daily ONLY in November.

 

“I wish they had told me this when I was young.”

“What?”

“You know, about losing one’s virtue.”

“Virtue? I didn’t know you had any.”

“Of course I did – everybody does.”

“W-e-e-e-ll, I know some folk who seem utterly devoid of any.”

“No, no, I didn’t mean it like this.”

“So how did you mean it?”

“Well, you know: when you do it for the first time.”

“You mean help an old lady across the road?”

“No, no, no – I mean IT!”

“What are you on about?”

“This: look at what they wrote – in The Sunday Times.” 

“Everyone knows that losing your virginity is the hard part, but when you’ve done it once it’s much easier.”

“Ha, ha, ha! I wonder how many times they reckon you can lose your virginity.”

“That’s it, that’s it! What do you think they meant?”

“What do you mean what they meant? This, of course!”

Everyone knows that losing your virginity is the hard part, but, once you’ve done it, congress gets easier.

“Congress?”

“Look, call it what you will: intercourse, coitus, nooky, rumpy pumpy …”

“But I never call it ‘rumpy pumpy’ …”

“Oh for goodness’ sake – call it sex then!”